Men are fast becoming endangered species and we seem not to be bothered. This is a new world where the few of us are taken as the rest of us. We are in an age where all men are seen as potential predators who prey on women for sexual tryst.
There is the need for a balanced conversation. This war of “we against them” won’t ever win gender war. Just as #MeToo won’t stop the problem of sexual molestation. Empowering the girl-child at the expense of the boy-child won’t create a better future for either of them.
Toxic feminism and railing against men is not even the way to go either. Aggregating all men as scum and pedophiles on campus is wrong. Feminism and toxic campaign against men may create viral social media hashtags but will never resolve the issue of sex, sexual harassment and molestation in any society.
When university students willingly deploy female advantage to obtain grades, it raises no dust. Where female bankers bleep men for fat deposit and get career progression raises no voice. Let us face the truth, gender advantage is both sides of the coins.
The current sex-for-grades and sexually transmitted degree saga is an ill-wind that must be holistically addressed. Strident voices calling for re-crucifixion of Jesus Christ won’t win. Globally, #MeToo may get media power, legal justice, massive funding but it won’t ever stop the demand and supply of sex for pecuniary advantage by both genders.
The power of #MeToo lies in the fact that it brought to the fore what women had always kept silent about and what men had always thought is unchallengeable. It means the sin men commit years back can come back to bury them. This is good but not good enough. How do we also track women who use sex to rise to power, position and prominence?
When it comes to sexual liaison between men and women, men may get to pick but women has the final say. Female university undergraduates also have the choice. The spate of accusations, the viciousness and the vehemence where accusation becomes the truth in the court of social media and sentences imposed through the social media needs a rethink. When the (Yoruba) Bata drum skin is over beaten, it bursts. Hope the #MeToo will not one day turn to backlash for the women we try to protect.
Let’s look at #MeToo! This is the hashtag that makes randy men cringe in a culturally aware and sane climes. At least men in the time past had taken advantage, harassed or abused women sexually. CNN reports that it’s been used in over 85 countries by over 1.7 women and men all over the world.
Toni Van Pelt, the President of National Association of Women in the US, in a CNN report, says; “I am really tired of talking about women. We must focus on the men…whether they are good guys or not”. #MeToo must “… become men’s issues” too, so says Ted Bunch, the Founder of “A Call to Men”. Men are the ignored equation in the fight against sexual abuse.
#MeToo was created by Tarana Burke, a female activist, former worker at Girls for Gender Equality and later founded Just Be Inc. #MeToo is a social movement which encourages women who are sexually harassed and abused to speak out. Where is the corresponding hashtag to protect the male when men are sexually seduced, abused raped or taken advantage of? Are we saying female don’t sexually take advantage of man?
Most men are not abusive. The media amplifies the monsters amidst us and tag all men as animals. Majority of the men in the university system are decent men, caring husbands and great fathers. Flawed? Certainly. Rapists? No. Misogynists? Far from it? Influential? Yes, men who are influential don’t necessarily abuse or harass women. There are men who are leaders with massive followers here with high credibility ratings. There are good men much more than we are made to believe.
Briggitte Bardot, a woman and the star in And God Created Woman, saw #MeToo as hypocritical and ridiculous especially in the film industry because young ladies who want to build a career in the industry don’t mind to be taken and then years later, ten, twenty years later, turn around to shout sexual harassment. No one talks about the career, the fame and the fortune such female stars receive out of such liaison. The perception of women as victims and men as the villains must be reviewed.
I founded M.A.D.A.M: Movement Against Domestic Abuse by Men. From the vantage point, I have heard how men are seduced and sexually used or even stylishly raped by women. However, who will believe a man’s #MeToo! The world of sex is so tilted that it seems it is only men who roam the campuses and the cold rooms looking for women to sleep with. The truth is that gender power has flipped in favor of the female. But, let’s empower both the men and the women together to create a safer and better community. Let’s get back to the village square.
Together, let’s raise our voices against any form of sexual abuse. Whether an older female housemaid luring a sixteen-year old boy for sex or a university student exchanging her body for grades or a lewd old man chasing girls in his daughter’s age bracket or men demanding sex for role, let’s balance the conversation to prevent and reduce sexual abuse. Let’s understand that #MeToo matters but #Menslive matters too.Read Full Story